I'm just throwing that out there. You guys really do suck at driving. Me? I'm perfect, but that's beside the point.
I am a fast driver. Not overly aggressive, but I do speed. But, I also have 180° vision when I drive. I look ahead to see if people are merging on the right, or a left turn lane is coming up. You all seem to think the world of driving ends at your hood ornament. Especially you Mercedes drivers. Hint: That thing at the end of your hood is actually a stylized propeller, not a crosshair to focus your attention the rear license plate of the guy in front of you.
I really don't understand your fascination with tailgating. If I can't see your headlights in my rear-view mirror, you're probably a tad bit too close. I was taught to leave 3 car lengths between me and the guy ahead of me at all speeds. But, for some bloody reason, y'all seem to think that space between me and the car ahead of ME needs to be filled with your Hummer or Ford F-350 Dually. Which I can't see around unless I'm three car lengths behind you. So then I have to slow down to make room, and then some jag off either rides my bumper or sneaks into my 3 car length bubble of comfort. I have actually driven from Red Deer to Calgary on Highway 2 bumper to bumper at 130KMH. The entire way. I'm not kidding. It was as if I was in the middle pack of a NASCAR race and everybody was drafting each other. Problem is, I'm not out there driving alongside Jimmy Johnson. I'm out there with Ricky Bobby. Grr... The 3 car length rule has saved my bacon more than once, and allows me to text and drive with a tich more wiggle room.
I'm kidding. I don't text and drive. That's dangerous. But, even though Alberta has a Distracted Driving Law, outlawing things like texting and driving, I still see you all doing it. Every day. Seriously? Put down the phone people. And this is coming from a guy who sells cell phones for a living. Put down the phone, get a decent Bluetooth headset, and forget texting. Generally, in Calgary, you're never more than 40 minutes at the most from your destination, the idea of texting is it's not talking, so you have a grace period to respond. Get it?
And what's with the drag race to the next stop light? Hey, I drive a shitbox Neon. Like first generation Neon. It looked pretty badass back in the day, but it doesn't have the get up and go that it used to have. So climbing up a steep-ish road like Sarcee Trail on a cold winter morning, well, it's not as fast as I would like it to be. But, that doesn't mean you have to race me from the lights at 16th to the lights at Bow Trail. Because, more often than not, we end up right beside each other anyways. So what's the point of gunning it off the line like you're John Force? You know as well as I do that Calgary is the only modern city in the world that doesn't synchronize red lights, so we're going to end up at the same stoplight anyways. Give it up. Racing between lights is not going to get you anywhere any faster, and causes you to run your monster truck grill up my ass.
Merging is a lost art. Which is kind of funny, in a "I don't understand what you don't get" sort of way. Calgary has the shortest on ramps in the western world. You might have maybe 40 feet in many cases to merge from a 60KMH on ramp to a 110KMH highway, so unless you've stuck a Lambo engine in that Taurus of yours, you do not have enough room to get up to speed. Yet, I never, ever see anybody actually move from the right to left lanes to allow merging traffic to actually merge. Seriously. Get your ass over to the left lane. There's nobody in that lane for some reason, you just all like to be assholes and not allow anybody merge onto the road you're on. Those poor bastards trying to get off 14th street onto Memorial westbound during rush hour, I feel your pain. Really, it's a sight to behold. 2 lanes of traffic on Memorial zipping by the stopped traffic on the 14th St on ramp because nobody is considerate enough to move out of the right lane on Memorial to let those poor slobs in. And here's the really funny part, when there is a break in traffic, they have to gun their engines and try to hit 70 in 3 seconds flat because any traffic following that break will not slow down to let you in.
Calgarians generally do a great of job signalling. Unlike Toronto, drivers here actually give an indication that they want to change lanes. However, the problem is, nobody around you sees it. Mostly because they're so focused on drafting behind the bumper of the car in front of them, they never notice that someone beside them needs to get over into your lane for whatever reason. People here do not look past the hood ornament. They do not notice anybody around them. So, if I need to change lanes for whatever reason (maybe my left turn is coming up), I have to slow down, allow the traffic in the left lane beside me go by, AND THEN allow all the traffic behind me to pull out and zip past me on the left before I can get into the lane I want. If I speed up to try and change lanes, the douche beside me thinks this is some sort of challenge and tries to race me. WTF? Don't you see my turn signal?
OH....there is one thing every driver in Calgary looks out for; pedestrians. The fascination with pedestrians in this city is remarkable. I have been walking on the sidewalk and just merely LOOKED across the street and found traffic in both directions stop on a dime expecting me to cross. And you pedestrians are just plain rude. You step out without looking to see if traffic is stopping for you. And then you have the nerve to saunter across the street as if you're walking with your elderly mother in the park for some fresh air. Oh, and my personal favourite pedestrian trick. You will cross at a designated crosswalk, but instead of waiting for me to drive through the crosswalk, you will press the button to light the signal, EVEN THOUGH there is no other traffic in either direction besides me! Why can't you wait until I pass before you cross? Pedestrians, you need to understand that you have better brakes than I do and more control of your path of travel. Stop making me slam on the brakes just because you want to cross NOW!
I actually enjoy driving in Toronto compared to this crap. At least in Toronto, I know you have to be fast and aggressive. But at least the other guy is looking around and seeing what's around them. Because they're just as fast and aggressive. Here...it's a mixed bag.
C'mon guys....get with it.
0 comments:
Post a Comment