The way to a man's heart.

Is not through his stomach.

Want to get an old fart like me in your corner forever?  Stroke the ego.  Make me feel like I have valuable life experiences you want to benefit from.

Got an email this week from a young lady who is as close to family without sharing a last name as someone can get.  She's graduating from University soon, and would prefer to work in a field where I might have some 3rd party contacts.  So, she asked if I could pass along her resume to a friend of a friend of a friend.  One look at her resume, and I asked if I could help her fix it up a little.

"YES!  PLEASE!"



So, we traded emails and texts back and forth and she tweaked this and that.  Finally, I asked her to just send me a Word copy of it.  So I could clean it up and make it look sharp.  I went to this "trouble" because I want her to have the best shot possible at whatever job she wants to apply to.  It brings me great joy to share in the successes of others.  That makes me insanely happy.

She doesn't know I'm doing that.  Well, she probably does now.  But, I don't mind.  It makes me happy to do it.  Why?  Because, I've been around the block a little, and well, it feels nice to have someone trust me.

But, here's the real thing.  If she does end up with a job she really wants, and if I had any small part in that, well, that would make me proud.

Silly isn't it?

I have such a hard time asking others for help.  But, if somebody needs something and they ask me, I LOVE offering my help.

And that's the rub.  I would never have offered to help her if she hadn't asked me first.  That's rude.  That's basically saying, "I don't think you're capable of doing this on your own."

So, I'm also learning the flipside of that; ask for help.  People want to give it.  A lot.

And I think it's a truism of life.  Relationships and bonds are built by a give and take.  If somebody wants to do something for you, don't reject the offer.  People don't generally offer things in some sort of Machiavellian scheme to control your life.  It's because accepting that help, no matter how small, shows that person that they are important to you.  We all want to be needed.  To feel important to someone else.

It's the way to my heart anyways.