A guest post

I was asked to share my feelings on fatherhood and adoption and all the stuff that goes with it at americaadopts.com.

I'm pretty pleased with the result, and frankly, I'm pretty tickled to have this post put up just before Father's Day.

http://www.americaadopts.com/archives/11446

Thanks for reading my stuff.  That's why I write it, so that others can read it.

:)

Going Home

There is no greater comfort in life than going home.

Don't get me wrong, I love where I live (well, except the weather) and I love the family I've built here.  I have an amazing wife, and 3 glorious children.

But, I've come to realize how powerful going home can be.

Disposable Fatherhood

I've been thinking a lot about fatherhood these days.  I've been culling a lot of information about fathers lately; absent fathers; disposable fathers.  They seem to be everywhere in front of me lately, and I have something to say about it.

I was one of them.  A disposable father.  Cut off from my children, until I was able to meet someone who wanted to build a family with me.  And let me tell you something, what we do to fathers in our society can be deplorable.

Forgiveness: Letting go of Anger and Hurt.

I know it's been almost a month since I last posted.  Please forgive me.

Actually, I've had some very deep thoughts lately on forgiveness, what it means, why we should do it, and why it's so powerful.  I saw on the local news the other day a story about The Forgiveness Project and it got me to thinking.  "What is forgiveness really?" It's a very complex thing, and it shouldn't be summarized in one posting.  But, I'm going to try.

Forgiveness can be one of the most powerful things you can do for another person, and for yourself.  And since it's Easter Sunday, it seemed appropriate to talk about forgiveness today.  I woke up this morning thinking about it.  There is a reason the story of Easter is about forgiveness and rebirth.  Because that's what forgiving somebody or yourself is all about; rebirth.  Starting over with a clear conscience, an open heart, and a certain mental calmness that allows us to be the best we can be.

The way to a man's heart.

Is not through his stomach.

Want to get an old fart like me in your corner forever?  Stroke the ego.  Make me feel like I have valuable life experiences you want to benefit from.

Got an email this week from a young lady who is as close to family without sharing a last name as someone can get.  She's graduating from University soon, and would prefer to work in a field where I might have some 3rd party contacts.  So, she asked if I could pass along her resume to a friend of a friend of a friend.  One look at her resume, and I asked if I could help her fix it up a little.

"YES!  PLEASE!"

Thin Threads of Life

I believe in God.  Whoa...wait.  Where are you going?  Hang on a second and hear me out.  It's not a casual belief, but I'm not into proselytizing either.  Relax.  So, do me a favour, if somehow my belief in God makes you uncomfortable or defensive, then I want you to substitute the word God in the rest of this post with the word 'Life'.

I believe in life.

See? not so hard.

So, why do I bring this up?  I'm 41.  I still have a long way to go, but I can also look back a fair ways and see how God has guided me through things.  And it's kind of amazing really.  When I look back and see how one insignificant decision or event led to another insignificant event, which then snowballed into a greater life story.  And I firmly believe everyone has these threads in their lives that join events into bigger things.  This is how I see God moving in my world.

Honesty

Sometimes we talk about honesty and what it means to be honest.  Obviously, we should not lie or tell stories.  That's a given.  But, we need to learn how to honest with ourselves as well.  That is the flipside we often give lip service to.

I'm not talking about those little white lies we tell to spare someone's feelings.  Obviously, those can be hurtful too.  What I want to talk about is the need to be brutally honest with ourselves.

In times of retrospect, you have to break down your real feelings about something.  Most often, the first reaction or thought is a surface or knee jerk reaction to something.  We must strive to think deeper and break those initial emotions down.